Dear friends,
Following a year of vacationing in victimland, I’m finally rolling up my sleeves and editing my third published book, “The Autism Cookbook.” After its release in Spring, 2010, we found some horrendous technical mishaps, not reflective of the tremendous amount of research, time and love I poured into my life’s work. Please accept my greatest apologies for the inconvenience this has caused. I would liken my deep despair over the outcome of this book to that of the moment I received the autism diagnosis for my child. Yep. It has been that deep. As the mother of an autistic child, I was so anxious to provide some answers to the questions that we mothers desperately seek to help our children. But here’s the sunny side: we’ve been busy editing the glitches, retesting the recipes and providing corrections for readers who have emailed. Next spring, the book will be re-released as a revised edition. For now, if you own a copy, please continue to enjoy the loving energy around the book and its abundance of information regarding healing arts for autism, chiropractic care and most importantly, gluten-free, casein-free recipes. We would love to hear from you and provide you with specific recipe corrections. Send an email to skelleydelaine@yahoo.com. We're listening!
Yours Truly,
Susan Delaine
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Birthright-ology 101
Justin, my seven-year-old son with autism, recently asked me to get lost. Yup, I surprised him at school, but the surprise was on me. I approached him from behind, nudged his shoulder and was very gently greeted with, "what are you doing here mom? I thought I told you not to come." Eventually I left. But not before being laughed at by a bunch of seven-year-olds. Now every time I visit, the kids rush to warn Justin that I'm heading down the hall [insert wicked witch music here].
So, every experience has a lesson. What I learned here was that Justin was, indeed, growing up. I found this to be very confusing, especially following years and years of micro-managing his life. I lingered at the school from preschool through first grade. I closely monitored playdates and conversations. I still obsess over each GFCF meal, snack and supplement. I shop carefully for clothing that does not irritate his senses and keep household sounds/smells to a minimum. I have F.A.Q. time with each parent who invites Justin over to play- do you have pets...will the kids be eating...any loud or sudden noises...can you help him with buttoning if he needs to use the restroom...are you familiar with the epi-pen...would you please speak slowly and give short instructions.....
To varying degrees, this is what parents do. We parent. We speak for them, advocate and do the things that kids cannot do for themselves, but with the intention for them to learn how to do it all for themselves one day. For the love of getting some rest, we hope they will, as adults, have that capacity.
I was "surfing" the other day and came across information from an autistic adult. The person was frustrated over the public advocacy taking place for autistic children. He felt the gigantic organizations and parent advocacy groups did not accurately represent the needs of autistic people. Further, he opposed any dietary intervention, saying there's nothing wrong with their bodies and all autistic people should enjoy pizza, ice cream, milk, breads, cookies, sugars and all things gluten and casein. He expressed that the bulk of public advocacy was capitalistic, and most of it somehow cast a dark, pitiful shadow over the prognosis of those with autism. Autism, he felt, should be celebrated and the world at large should move over and embrace autistic people as they are.
But a happy, successful marriage between these two entities can exist. Most advocacy groups, which have grown simply in direct correlation to the increased cases of autism, consist of parents of autistic children. These parents, like myself, want to foster independence and we're planning ahead, just like any other parent would. For now, though, as we watch our young children struggle to communicate, sleep soundly and enjoy the sounds of nature, we are compelled to do something to help them. The interventions, though, must be selected carefully. In Justin's case, biomedical changes have made him physically healthier and happier.
Truth is, Justin, as an adult, may or may not want to continue what we're doing for him. The autistic young man is right in that autistic people need opportunities to speak and act for themselves...as adults, that is. For now, it is up to us to make informed, fair decisions about our own children's needs- much of the information provided by hard work and research from advocacy groups. I really hope Justin continues the diet, spirituality and other approaches we are taking. But like that experience in the classroom, I will feel a bittersweet sense of victory if one day, he speaks for himself and decides to ditch all that stuff. It is his birthright.
So, every experience has a lesson. What I learned here was that Justin was, indeed, growing up. I found this to be very confusing, especially following years and years of micro-managing his life. I lingered at the school from preschool through first grade. I closely monitored playdates and conversations. I still obsess over each GFCF meal, snack and supplement. I shop carefully for clothing that does not irritate his senses and keep household sounds/smells to a minimum. I have F.A.Q. time with each parent who invites Justin over to play- do you have pets...will the kids be eating...any loud or sudden noises...can you help him with buttoning if he needs to use the restroom...are you familiar with the epi-pen...would you please speak slowly and give short instructions.....
To varying degrees, this is what parents do. We parent. We speak for them, advocate and do the things that kids cannot do for themselves, but with the intention for them to learn how to do it all for themselves one day. For the love of getting some rest, we hope they will, as adults, have that capacity.
I was "surfing" the other day and came across information from an autistic adult. The person was frustrated over the public advocacy taking place for autistic children. He felt the gigantic organizations and parent advocacy groups did not accurately represent the needs of autistic people. Further, he opposed any dietary intervention, saying there's nothing wrong with their bodies and all autistic people should enjoy pizza, ice cream, milk, breads, cookies, sugars and all things gluten and casein. He expressed that the bulk of public advocacy was capitalistic, and most of it somehow cast a dark, pitiful shadow over the prognosis of those with autism. Autism, he felt, should be celebrated and the world at large should move over and embrace autistic people as they are.
But a happy, successful marriage between these two entities can exist. Most advocacy groups, which have grown simply in direct correlation to the increased cases of autism, consist of parents of autistic children. These parents, like myself, want to foster independence and we're planning ahead, just like any other parent would. For now, though, as we watch our young children struggle to communicate, sleep soundly and enjoy the sounds of nature, we are compelled to do something to help them. The interventions, though, must be selected carefully. In Justin's case, biomedical changes have made him physically healthier and happier.
Truth is, Justin, as an adult, may or may not want to continue what we're doing for him. The autistic young man is right in that autistic people need opportunities to speak and act for themselves...as adults, that is. For now, it is up to us to make informed, fair decisions about our own children's needs- much of the information provided by hard work and research from advocacy groups. I really hope Justin continues the diet, spirituality and other approaches we are taking. But like that experience in the classroom, I will feel a bittersweet sense of victory if one day, he speaks for himself and decides to ditch all that stuff. It is his birthright.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Reiki: Old School Science, Modern Use
I'm partial to all things love. Just this morning I gave a warm smile and kiss to my old single-digit jeans and slipped right into them! Then after lunch I did the same thing to my two fighting sons (maybe with a slight hint of threat) and the tension between them instantly dissolved. Save for the kiss, it even worked on the angry cashier, scanning my cotton balls and taco shells at 1 AM.
Love does have a way of transforming things. At this time however, I do not recommend that you systematically smile at and kiss all that you wish to resolve. My discussion of love here is inspired by my good friend, Connie, who elevates the very concept of "love" to an all time high. Connie is a Certified Energy Healer, meaning that she is trained in balancing the flow of energy within human cells. Along the middle of our bodies we have seven energy centers (also known as chakras), each acting as control rooms for different areas of our functioning. Disease and disorder can come about when our cells have too much or too little activity (or energy or vibration). While energy healing is useful in treating disease, it is enormously effective in preventing it.
By now you're skeptical and you want to know what this has to do with with love and Justin, my beautiful son who has autism. Any act of helping or healing someone is only effective if the giver has a high vibration or energy level. I'm not talking about being pumped up or hyperactive, but rather having the highest and best intention for the person without precedence or condition (i.e. true love). This is what makes energy healing so very distinct from other healing practices. Energy healers use an immense amount of patience, active listening, knowing and intention for the person's highest good - some aspects of love.
Connie used a type of energy healing for Justin called Reiki (pronounced: ray-key). Without any previous knowledge about his conditions, Connie first pinpointed energy "blockages" in the very areas of Justin's challenges. Through a hand laying technique, Reiki was delievered to balance the flow within those energy centers.
Effective? Yes! My favorite part was when he came home from school the next day and slept from 3PM until 6AM the next morning, awakening three times only to visit the potty, take his vitamins and change into his pajamas. Okay, I became a little bit worried when it continued to happen for the next two days. He was completely out of character and little brother Ryan had no one to duel. But during the following days, Justin's daily reports home from school indicated, "on fire today!!!" and "very willingly helped a friend with supplies today," and so forth. He even began to ask me some annoying questions like "where do babies come from," and "how does that happen," and "why would someone do that......" If you are a special needs parent, you understand the joy I experienced from these questions.
So was it the Reiki, the catch up of sleep, or as a friend asked, "was it just a sudden burst in maturity and development?" I ask, was it a much needed burst in maturity and development and sleep catch up as a result of the Reiki? Maybe the latter. "Alternative" healings trigger systems in our bodies to shift in ways that bring about natural healing. In Justin's case, the excessive sleep could have been a result of needed cellular "detox" brought about by the Reiki.
If you decide to look into Reiki therapy, please consider seeking help that is more profound than fitting into jeans or pushing the buttons on a grumpy person at 1AM. Use it for your family's physical health and relationships, your life circumstances and spiritual wellness and more. And if you are lucky enough to experience the effect, enjoy the deep sleep.
Love does have a way of transforming things. At this time however, I do not recommend that you systematically smile at and kiss all that you wish to resolve. My discussion of love here is inspired by my good friend, Connie, who elevates the very concept of "love" to an all time high. Connie is a Certified Energy Healer, meaning that she is trained in balancing the flow of energy within human cells. Along the middle of our bodies we have seven energy centers (also known as chakras), each acting as control rooms for different areas of our functioning. Disease and disorder can come about when our cells have too much or too little activity (or energy or vibration). While energy healing is useful in treating disease, it is enormously effective in preventing it.
By now you're skeptical and you want to know what this has to do with with love and Justin, my beautiful son who has autism. Any act of helping or healing someone is only effective if the giver has a high vibration or energy level. I'm not talking about being pumped up or hyperactive, but rather having the highest and best intention for the person without precedence or condition (i.e. true love). This is what makes energy healing so very distinct from other healing practices. Energy healers use an immense amount of patience, active listening, knowing and intention for the person's highest good - some aspects of love.
Connie used a type of energy healing for Justin called Reiki (pronounced: ray-key). Without any previous knowledge about his conditions, Connie first pinpointed energy "blockages" in the very areas of Justin's challenges. Through a hand laying technique, Reiki was delievered to balance the flow within those energy centers.
Effective? Yes! My favorite part was when he came home from school the next day and slept from 3PM until 6AM the next morning, awakening three times only to visit the potty, take his vitamins and change into his pajamas. Okay, I became a little bit worried when it continued to happen for the next two days. He was completely out of character and little brother Ryan had no one to duel. But during the following days, Justin's daily reports home from school indicated, "on fire today!!!" and "very willingly helped a friend with supplies today," and so forth. He even began to ask me some annoying questions like "where do babies come from," and "how does that happen," and "why would someone do that......" If you are a special needs parent, you understand the joy I experienced from these questions.
So was it the Reiki, the catch up of sleep, or as a friend asked, "was it just a sudden burst in maturity and development?" I ask, was it a much needed burst in maturity and development and sleep catch up as a result of the Reiki? Maybe the latter. "Alternative" healings trigger systems in our bodies to shift in ways that bring about natural healing. In Justin's case, the excessive sleep could have been a result of needed cellular "detox" brought about by the Reiki.
If you decide to look into Reiki therapy, please consider seeking help that is more profound than fitting into jeans or pushing the buttons on a grumpy person at 1AM. Use it for your family's physical health and relationships, your life circumstances and spiritual wellness and more. And if you are lucky enough to experience the effect, enjoy the deep sleep.
Susan Delaine is the author of Balancing the Bowl, an Autism Resource Guide and Cookbook. Susan has devoted her life to educating other families about the autism-health connection. For information about Susan's books, media coverage and event schedule, visit www.susandelaine.com
Connie Taylor is a Certified Energy Healer who resides near Atlanta, GA. For more information on her services and products, contact Connie at blackbeltmom@msn.com or call 770-704-5292
Friday, January 30, 2009
Autism: What We Know for Sure
At the very core of our good health lies our need for unconditional love, which allows other healthy customs to take on a greater effect. This rings especially true in the case of children who have autism. Because of the change in course from what we might have planned for them and because of their uniqueness from typical peers, children with autism present with an extra opportunity for us to learn how to love them, no matter what. This lesson is embedded within their very existence.
Our seven-year-old son, Justin was diagnosed with autism on March 8, 2004. Until that moment, my husband, Chris and I held fast to the ambitious plans we had for our first-born. We saved and planned aggressively for him to inherit Chris’s football helmet and we were confident that he would sail through life as a fiercely- independent peer leader and high-achiever. Despite the fact that we suspected a developmental delay very early on, nothing could have prepared us for the news we received that day.
And so it began: our determined, sometimes frantic, sometimes funny efforts to salvage our future plans for Justin. We immediately enrolled him into recreational sports, toddler gym programs and enrichment classes which provided great social exposure, but only resulted in tantrums, non-participation and a whole lot of missed sessions. Realizing the need to for more practical help, we enrolled Justin in an amazing special needs preschool program, started a strict diet and biomedical regimen and began energy healing treatments. Seeing improvements, we felt Justin was on a high road to inheriting the football helmet and starting college at 15.
Until, that is, my wise friend, Dr. Aaron D. Lewis, observed what he called our “busy work” and said, “Can’t you see him for the perfect person that he really is? All he wants is for you to love him unconditionally. Practice that first and watch the other interventions work a lot better.”
I have had the pleasure of getting to know Becky Estepp. On a National level, she manages the Parent Mentor Program for TACA (Talk About Curing Autism), a national autism advocacy organization based in California, with local chapters across the United States. During a recent conversation, Becky passionately relayed that we must maintain the same level of love and nurturing for our children that we had before the autism diagnosis. She says, “Despite the devastating effects of the diagnosis given by a health professional, your child remains the same person as before the diagnosis was given. We must remember that and not change the way we feel about and love our children.”
For the record, we do still hope for Justin to attend college. Even though he doesn’t express an interest in the football helmet, he is expected to participate in a sport of his choice, cycling being his area of interest for the moment. We parents intuitively know that children’s immediate need is for love and acceptance– an essential starting place for their healing. Armed with our unconditional love, it is as if Justin now says, “Thanks mom and dad, at last I can go blossom.”
Our seven-year-old son, Justin was diagnosed with autism on March 8, 2004. Until that moment, my husband, Chris and I held fast to the ambitious plans we had for our first-born. We saved and planned aggressively for him to inherit Chris’s football helmet and we were confident that he would sail through life as a fiercely- independent peer leader and high-achiever. Despite the fact that we suspected a developmental delay very early on, nothing could have prepared us for the news we received that day.
And so it began: our determined, sometimes frantic, sometimes funny efforts to salvage our future plans for Justin. We immediately enrolled him into recreational sports, toddler gym programs and enrichment classes which provided great social exposure, but only resulted in tantrums, non-participation and a whole lot of missed sessions. Realizing the need to for more practical help, we enrolled Justin in an amazing special needs preschool program, started a strict diet and biomedical regimen and began energy healing treatments. Seeing improvements, we felt Justin was on a high road to inheriting the football helmet and starting college at 15.
Until, that is, my wise friend, Dr. Aaron D. Lewis, observed what he called our “busy work” and said, “Can’t you see him for the perfect person that he really is? All he wants is for you to love him unconditionally. Practice that first and watch the other interventions work a lot better.”
I have had the pleasure of getting to know Becky Estepp. On a National level, she manages the Parent Mentor Program for TACA (Talk About Curing Autism), a national autism advocacy organization based in California, with local chapters across the United States. During a recent conversation, Becky passionately relayed that we must maintain the same level of love and nurturing for our children that we had before the autism diagnosis. She says, “Despite the devastating effects of the diagnosis given by a health professional, your child remains the same person as before the diagnosis was given. We must remember that and not change the way we feel about and love our children.”
For the record, we do still hope for Justin to attend college. Even though he doesn’t express an interest in the football helmet, he is expected to participate in a sport of his choice, cycling being his area of interest for the moment. We parents intuitively know that children’s immediate need is for love and acceptance– an essential starting place for their healing. Armed with our unconditional love, it is as if Justin now says, “Thanks mom and dad, at last I can go blossom.”
Susan Kelley Delaine is the author of Balancing the Bowl, an autism Resource Guide and Cookbook. Susan has devoted her life to teaching people about the autism-diet connection. For information about Susan’s television appearances, book signings, and lectures, visit www.susandelaine.com
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
I Remember You
Some say children picked their parents. Others say that the Creator selected us for the task. Still others say we enlisted ourselves for this ride, children included. How humbling. Yet, many believe that their children were dropped off at the front door in the middle of the night - feeling either victimized by or lucky for what they "got." So, where do you stand?
Upon diagnosis, parents of autistic children, myself included, often experience feelings of the latter. The abandonment of our specific expectations drives us to believe that we've done something terribly wrong (either prenatally or ethically) to attract dis-order and dis-ease into our lives. We dive, head- first into a frenzy to fix things, make amends and to force our highly unique children into average- sized peg holes. How frustrating to have someone constantly trying to "resolve" you when all you really need is to be accepted, unconditionally. After all, our true perfection lies within others' willingness to love and embrace us as we are.
Well, here's when my shift came about: completely out of context and with no frame of reference, Justin, now age 7, suspiciously looked at me and said, "I remember you..." and then resumed doing whatever he was doing. Now, many possibilities exist here. Could he have been awake when I played tooth fairy one night? Could he have been spying through the banister last Christmas Eve? Or, more sincerely, he could he have been "remembering" and thanking me for holding him though many nights as an ailing baby.
But if, perchance, he was remembering the line- up of moms he had to choose from, then I'd better buckle down to the job for which he hired me: loving him unconditionally- for some reason, a joyous challenge for parents with autistic children . Oh, I gotta go play cars. The bosses are calling...
Upon diagnosis, parents of autistic children, myself included, often experience feelings of the latter. The abandonment of our specific expectations drives us to believe that we've done something terribly wrong (either prenatally or ethically) to attract dis-order and dis-ease into our lives. We dive, head- first into a frenzy to fix things, make amends and to force our highly unique children into average- sized peg holes. How frustrating to have someone constantly trying to "resolve" you when all you really need is to be accepted, unconditionally. After all, our true perfection lies within others' willingness to love and embrace us as we are.
Well, here's when my shift came about: completely out of context and with no frame of reference, Justin, now age 7, suspiciously looked at me and said, "I remember you..." and then resumed doing whatever he was doing. Now, many possibilities exist here. Could he have been awake when I played tooth fairy one night? Could he have been spying through the banister last Christmas Eve? Or, more sincerely, he could he have been "remembering" and thanking me for holding him though many nights as an ailing baby.
But if, perchance, he was remembering the line- up of moms he had to choose from, then I'd better buckle down to the job for which he hired me: loving him unconditionally- for some reason, a joyous challenge for parents with autistic children . Oh, I gotta go play cars. The bosses are calling...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
On Healing: The Ultimate Paradigm Shift
What I'm going to say will sound like a complete contradiction to the message in my books and what I've been lecturing about for the past five years: Diet is not the key to healing autism. And the same goes for nutritional supplementation, detoxification, speech and occupational therapy, chakra balancing, social skills development, homeopathics, music therapy, horseback riding, pet therapy, sensory integration, energy therapy, mainstreaming or whatever. No, the real healing begins not by engaging the autistic child in a range of therapies. The healing begins within the heart and mind of the parent or caregiver.
"Susan has officially fallen off of the wagon," you say. But this is not some nebulous or esoteric concept. Our attitudes, expectations and perceptions do shape our children's outcome. This is old-school science, used even in modern-day healing.
As you now know, our son, Justin is on a GF CF diet. We also use many other natural approaches to help his body function at its best. What we haven't talked much about is how the use of "positive talk" and visualization have improved the results of the diet and other things exponentially. Hey, have you read Jenny McCarthy's book, "Louder than Words?" Notice the real improvement in her son came only when she took a firm stand on the belief that her son was not the sum of his current circumstances and that he would, in fact, be successful and independent someday.
Oh wait! Don't stop the GF CF diet, horseback riding or consultations at the Center IMT. And don't intercept that book order on http://www.susandelaine.com/. But do consider the impact of your outlook on your child's progress and encourage all those in your child's immediate circle to do and say things that are uplifting. Then watch the other interventions take on a superior effect.
"Susan has officially fallen off of the wagon," you say. But this is not some nebulous or esoteric concept. Our attitudes, expectations and perceptions do shape our children's outcome. This is old-school science, used even in modern-day healing.
As you now know, our son, Justin is on a GF CF diet. We also use many other natural approaches to help his body function at its best. What we haven't talked much about is how the use of "positive talk" and visualization have improved the results of the diet and other things exponentially. Hey, have you read Jenny McCarthy's book, "Louder than Words?" Notice the real improvement in her son came only when she took a firm stand on the belief that her son was not the sum of his current circumstances and that he would, in fact, be successful and independent someday.
Oh wait! Don't stop the GF CF diet, horseback riding or consultations at the Center IMT. And don't intercept that book order on http://www.susandelaine.com/. But do consider the impact of your outlook on your child's progress and encourage all those in your child's immediate circle to do and say things that are uplifting. Then watch the other interventions take on a superior effect.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
"...And What Is Done With Love Is Well Done..."
I am not a Vincent Van Gogh geek, but his words can provide some validation in certain situations...like when I locked Chris's Blackberry in the glovebox one Saturday and watched him scurry around like a maniac - ending in a forced bike ride in the park with the boys and some quality family time. Or that time when Ryan, our five-year-old dumped half a box of detergent in the wash, Chris's response being, "Susan, he's such a good helper..." I got him back, though. That ugly, overgrown tree in the front yard "almost fell on me" and couldn't wait another weekend to be cut down...
We all do seemingly strange things sometimes, but when your intention is good, then it is well done, as Van Gogh said. Two days ago, another mom of an autistic son asked me just why I decided to speak so openly about our son's autism. She said, "We would rather keep things private to avoid social stigma - we just don't want to the world to know..."
There are a lot of things I don't want the world to know too. So, I very much respect that family's desire for privacy. But my answer to that question is one that I'd like the world to know about. Virtually everything we've learned during our journey with our son came from other parents who opened up to us, shared tips, published their stories, spoke out at support groups and, most importanly, wiped up my blubber while I cried out of control. When we first got the diagnosis of autism, a local stranger (now a great friend) heard about me through the grapevine and showed up at my door with boxes of sensory toys and literature that her autistic teenage twins had outgrown...
I think my point has been made. Autism research, advocacy and action are highly parent-driven efforts. While advocacy isn't for everyone, it is a must for us. So, instead of locking our bundle of information in the glovebox, we're dispersing it among the masses, globally. It's not ours to keep - the cycle of giving must continue to flow.
Well, I found out that Van Gogh didn't cut off his entire ear- just a portion of his earlobe. No philanthropist, but still a generous giver...
We all do seemingly strange things sometimes, but when your intention is good, then it is well done, as Van Gogh said. Two days ago, another mom of an autistic son asked me just why I decided to speak so openly about our son's autism. She said, "We would rather keep things private to avoid social stigma - we just don't want to the world to know..."
There are a lot of things I don't want the world to know too. So, I very much respect that family's desire for privacy. But my answer to that question is one that I'd like the world to know about. Virtually everything we've learned during our journey with our son came from other parents who opened up to us, shared tips, published their stories, spoke out at support groups and, most importanly, wiped up my blubber while I cried out of control. When we first got the diagnosis of autism, a local stranger (now a great friend) heard about me through the grapevine and showed up at my door with boxes of sensory toys and literature that her autistic teenage twins had outgrown...
I think my point has been made. Autism research, advocacy and action are highly parent-driven efforts. While advocacy isn't for everyone, it is a must for us. So, instead of locking our bundle of information in the glovebox, we're dispersing it among the masses, globally. It's not ours to keep - the cycle of giving must continue to flow.
Well, I found out that Van Gogh didn't cut off his entire ear- just a portion of his earlobe. No philanthropist, but still a generous giver...
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